I know very well that, human beings are very, very lonely. Man tries his best to live along with a country, a society, his neighbours and his family, because he is afraid of becoming alone. Only because he is afraid of everything in this world that he clasps the hands of his father, grandfather or great grandfather, or that of his son.He is afraid of being segregated from the group.Afraid that he will be left alone. Man is very lonely, so he doesn't want to be alone, ever.
EXCERPTS FROM TASLIMA'A COLUMNS...
When I was ten years old, baba used to sit and teach me at night, with a knotty cant in the right hand and a grammar boo in the left hand. Baba used to teach me tense with utmost care.If I took time understanding, the cane would start dancing on my back. I used to cry late into the night, lying on bed. Used to curse father. Now, at times, I feel life touching my back, and feeling the marks that the cane used to cause, the marks that are there no more.I feel like feeling that pain again. Now I understand, what love underlay that punishment, which in reality was blessing.
My father exercised great influence both inside and outside the house. At least thirty times in a day, Baba used to tell us that the sole purpose of a student’s life is to study (CHATRANANG ADHYAYANANG TAPAHA). May it be summer or the bone-chilling winter, he will go out after a bath in cold water. There was no fixed time for his return. Someday I might be playing in the field in knee deep dust, drawing lines in the dust, suddenly Baba would come and spoil my game, erasing the lines on the ground with the bottom of his shoes.If I am sitting with Maa any day, anytime, in the kitchen, Baba would shoo me away with scolding. If Maa ever tells that ‘Let her learn a bit of cooking here, ‘Baba would turn red in the eyes and the face and tell,’A student’s only duty is to study’. Except studying, we were not allowed to do things like playing, sleeping, gossiping or roaming around. Besides bathing and eating, the rest of the entire time was being spent on studying. Baba had strict instruction to spend less time in answering nature’s calls. The night session ran according to Baba’s own regulations. He would pick up his cane that rested peacefully under his mattress and he would summon, ‘Bring your book.’ Baba’s most favourite subject was English grammar. If we hadn’t mastered any grammatical item, The evening would change into midnight, The eye lids would grow heavy with sleep, still there would be no respite. If any day, I was able to answer his questions satisfactorily, Baba would sit to dine with me by his side, and I would get the largest piece of meat or fish that day. And the next morning, I was free not to study.
Today’s Baba has lost some of his previous glory. He has retired from service. Now his existence is confined to the house. An aggressive and zestful person like my father is also lonely.
My mother is also lonely. As if somebody has taught my mother, that one can get peace only through religious observances. With a false belief, At the dead of the night, my mother reads religious books, swinging her body from side to side. My mother is also very lonely.
I had beautiful younger sister. The entire house used to light up with her chatter. The entire house sounded musical when she would shake her body. She used to sing beautifully. There was not day when she would sing and my eyes wouldn’t water. Many good proposals were coming for that little sister of mine, from reach, influential families. Baba wouldn’t entertain any, telling- ‘A student should study.’
That sister of mine doesn’t sing anymore. That beautiful and wonderful sister of mine now folds clothes neatly on the clothes rack, puts homemade ‘badas’ in the sun and cooks fish through the afternoon. Sometimes she goes out with her husband with nice earrings dangling from her ears. My sister is also very lonely.
